I constantly find myself questioning if I belong in my line of work. Working with incredibly talented security engineers is a great way to constantly learn new things, but in my case it also doubles as a constant reminder that I don’t perform as well as the rest of my team.
“Do I belong here?”, “Am I technical enough?”, “Why am I not as smart as them?”, are some of the questions I deal with on a regular basis. This is all part of having an imposter syndrome, which makes me undermine both my work and the recognition it receives. Thankfully, I am surrounded by people who constantly encourage me and call me out when I start doubting myself.
The last few weeks I have been actively seeking advice on my career and ways to cope with my imposter syndrome. During these conversations, I was surprised to learn that many folks in the security industry have experienced the imposter syndrome firsthand. I haven’t figured out a way to get over mine yet, but I have gotten some good advice that has nudged me in the right direction. I hope this will help others who are going through the same ordeal!
Acknowledge your imposter syndrome
Accepting you have an imposter syndrome is the first step in dealing with it. This will make you aware of the times you drown in self doubt and hopefully seek help when it happens.
When your self doubt starts surfacing, say ‘stop’
You might not always have someone around to call you out, times like that just say ‘stop’ to snap yourself out. This is easier said that done, most times I write down my thoughts and wait for my rational brain to kick in and help address each of them. For example if I think ‘Why am I so slow?’, my answer might be ‘I am reviewing code in a new language’. Of course at times, you might be faced with a question you don’t have an answer to. Try to break that down into actionable parts and work towards fixing it.
Don’t forget to celebrate your *small* wins
When you finish a task, whatever it might be, make sure to celebrate it. Reward yourself with a break, maybe more leisure time, a snack, anything that makes you feel happy. If someone compliments you for a task, don’t brush it off or say ‘it’s nothing’, try to accept it graciously. The more you train yourself to do it, the more chances it has to chip away at your imposter syndrome.
Don’t forget to take breaks
You might overwork yourself, putting in long hours or taking on more work in an effort to prove you belong there. A lot of times, this just ends up increasing the frustration you feel and inhibiting your ability to perform well. Try and establish a certain balance between productive / leisure time. I am making a conscious decision to not call this work / life balance because, security is both a hobby and a career for most security professionals. If like me, you find yourself feeling guilty about spending time on leisure activity, remind yourself that you will be burnt out and unproductive without breaks.
Don’t shy away from challenges
You might at times shy away from a task / challenge for fear of — taking too long, believing someone else can do a better job, feeling you know too little. Stop! Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, ask yourself — ‘Do I want to do this? Will I enjoy doing this?’, if the answers to those questions are ‘Yes’. Then do it! In the worst case, you fail. You can always ask for help or pair up to tackle the problem, but make sure you set boundaries if you find others jumping in to solve it. Don’t be afraid to say, ‘Hey I am new to X, could you let me work at my own pace on this. I will ask for help when I need it’.
Specialize in an area
Stop trying to be good at everything! Play to your strengths, ask yourself- ‘What do I have the most knowledge or expertise in?’. If you don’t know the answer to that, ask a friend / colleague what they think you have the most expertise in. This will help set more realistic benchmarks for yourself. Reaching those benchmarks will help form a positive feedback loop and gain the confidence you need to keep growing.
Stop comparing yourself to others
If you find yourself saying, ‘I will never be as smart as X’, remind yourself — their achievements are the result of time and effort. Yes, there will always be people smarter than you, approach it as a challenge. Aim to be as good as them, learn from them. Have a conversation with them, ask them how they gained their skills / expertise and ask them for advice on improving your own. If you are feeling particularly brave, take it a step further — ask them what they think is your best skill. Having someone you look up to call out your strength, will boost your confidence.
Ask for help
This last one, is probably the most important piece of advice I can offer. Ask for help, be it — friends, colleagues or professionals. Don’t let your self doubt suffocate you and blind you from seeing your potential. If you feel like they are just saying things to make you feel better, ask them for an example / situation where you demonstrated that skill.
I plan on writing more of these, I find that putting things on paper helps clear my head and holds me accountable to try these myself. I hope this helps folks who read this, good luck :)
These views are my own and do not reflect the views of my employers past, present or future.
